I came back with sand between my toes from the beaches of New Zealand. 2014 was about taking the bad with the good. Unfortunately, two overriding emotions dictating the year for me were fear and uncertainty. I wanted to write about a lot of things. Some of them didn’t have a place on this blog and stayed in my head. In fact a lot of things stayed in my head. Gradually I went from mulling them over during the day to mulling them over at night. Lack of sleep is a horrible thing and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. It creeps up on you and little do you realise that sleeping is not like eating. You cannot make up for it another day. As I lost sleep about seemingly inconsequential things, the ferretin dipped and I was back to four years ago with added anxiety to boot. ‘What do you have to anxious about’ they said. You have a job, money, so on and so forth – everything that looks good from far but is far from good. Turns out anxiety is an ailment of the over-achieving. A quick visit to the expert and subsequent reading revealed that I was not suffering from a ‘rare incurable disease’ (I’m nothing if not dramatic!) nor was I overreacting as many tended to claim. I was just reacting – tired and iron deprived.
For the second time in my life the new year has not brought with it a sense of rejuvenation but it has brought with it 1100 mg of iron pumped into my system to help it to resume normal functioning. It has brought with it some semblance of reassurance that it should be ok. It has to be okay. So it will be okay.